Proud Like a Mama

We have our own little graduate this year. Kabi passed puppy training!!

Here she is in all of her "cap and gown" splendor and adorableness.

Feels Familiar

When my father was first diagnosed, we did a lot of research as a family. We wanted to not only figure out what this beastly cancer was all about but also to find out how other people dealt with it. Each of us discovered our own resources that helped us cope individually and collectively with the cancer journey.

One of my tools was a blog by Leroy Sievers, which we heard about while watching a Discovery Channel special on cancer hosted by Ted Koppel. Leroy is a former international journalist who was diagnosed with metastatic cancer and told he had months to live ... 2 1/2 years ago. His profound writing and willingness to be vulnerable to millions of people helped me AND my dad at the beginning. When it became clear that unlike Leroy, Daddy would not be defying the odds, he stopped reading the blog. Perhaps the injustice of it all got to him, or perhaps he worried that reading a blog about beating cancer would give him unrealistic expectations about his own prognosis. But I kept reading, and have continued to do so, due to a subscribed thread that I never cancelled.

I am sad to say that Leroy's body seems to have met its match after a long and often painful journey. He underwent procedures I had never heard of before, and had some serious spinal surgery. He battled a nasty infection. He received so much radiation and chemo that neither treatment is an option anymore. And his first post of this week was a haunting reminder - in his words, the cancer has "exploded". New mets in his brain and liver, tumors in his lungs and several spots in his bones (spine, shoulder blade, ribs and a nasty one that fractured his pelvic bone). It doesn't look good.

As his blogs morph from a fighting to a reminiscing mentality, I am sad and scared because I know what's ahead for him. I watched it happen. But I am also thankful that his voice has been there for me (and for my father). I don't resent him for overcoming the odds and living longer than expected. I appreciate that someone out there is willing to be completely honest about this journey and has been able remind me of the power of empathy.

I will continue to read Leroy's posts as long as he writes. At some point it may become too painful for him, physically AND mentally. And I will really miss the blog and the man when the time comes. I wish him and his loved ones well. I hope he realizes what a mark he has made on the cancer community.

Thank you, Leroy. You have spoken for us all.

Another Date To Remember

Today would have been 31 years of my parents' marriage. Mom didn't want to do anything significant to mark the day - just be home with us and go about her daily business.

I would think this would be one of the harder milestones of the year. Every other tradition or holiday was something Daddy shared with family and friends, something we could commemorate as a community that loved him dearly. But a wedding anniversary was something the two of them shared intimately and something that my father went to great lengths to celebrate every year. It always involved giving mom long-stemmed roses to mark the number of years they were together. It always involved grand romantic gestures. Now that I know how it feels to be swept off my feet and treated with such love and devotion, I can't imagine having to remember a date such as this on my own. It must have been a very long day for Mom.

And Sunday is Father's Day. We'll be visiting Daddy and making "Our Eggs". This week is a doozy.

Relay for Life Tribute Video

Thanks to everyone who e-mailed me their pictures from the Relay for Life 2008! Here is a tribute video for Team Dougie...

Team Dougie

I am slacking big-time on the blog posts lately but I wanted to make sure I put up some pictures from the 2008 Relay for Life. "Team Dougie" was back in full force (40+ registered team members, and then some) and it was a really incredible weekend. My sister led the team in a pre-relay "opening ceremony" for Daddy and then his covenant group said a prayer. Then we watched with pride our family members also facing cancer as they walked the survivors' lap.

Then it was time for the caregivers' lap. That was painful. We walked arm in arm and S joined us since he took care of his mom who also had lung cancer and passed away 7 years ago.

There were good times, and lots of sad times, and a lot of stories shared about Daddy. The luminaria slideshow featured ALL of the pictures I had sent in, so it basically became the "Dougie show". Fine by me - the more love, the better.

Here are some photos from 24 hours of honoring my incredible father...

Team prayer before the opening ceremonies.

The team saluting Dougie.

Our survivors.

My luminaria to Daddy.

The fireman in the middle walked the entire 24 hours!!

S was there with me - what a guy!

Team Dougie makes it through the weekend.