10 Days

On Day 11, Dad got his walking papers from the big house. Thank God - we were all getting a taste of cabin fever and WE weren't even stuck there the way he was.

This time, though, things are going to be different. Through some brilliant investigative work, my mom discovered a home health option that is a continuum of care, from palliative care to hospice and end-of-life issues (and gee, it only took three trips to the hospital for someone to step up and tell my mom what resources were available). So Dad can come home under the care of an RN, a social worker, a medical director who specializes in pain control and home health aides to help with hygiene. He can continue his second line of chemotherapy in a last ditch effort to beat this cancer and still be as comfortable as possible. He is hooked to a morphine pump that provides a basal rate of pain meds every hour, with the option of pushing a button for an extra fix every 15 minutes. His AMAZING nurse Pam helped us get access to TPN - total parenteral nutrition, which provides via IV the carbs, fat and protein he needs to function since his appetite has been nonexistent (down 50 pounds since he started this journey).

Not only does Dad come home under such great care, but I am getting a hands-on education in med administration, saline infusions and TPN set-up. Pam coached us in preparing his TPN bag and programming his pump so that we can do it ourselves each morning, and I am learning so much about home health care and loving every minute of it. Putting off nursing school for a year doesn't mean I can't continue my education.

When I think of this as a learning experience, it's much easier to cope. But than again, I know it's different because it's my Dad. No possibility of detachment as his health continues to slip. This is the hardest nursing assignment I will ever face.