Dad's CEA markers shot up from 74 to 123 in a week. Yesterday his home health nurse said we should all start preparing ourselves. Last night he was agitated and in a lot of pain, despite increasing the dose on his morphine drip and pushing the button as often as we were allowed. Then he fell down while walking to his bed and was in so much pain we couldn't move him - he and Mom slept on the floor and the Fire Department very kindly came this morning to move him back into bed.
They're now saying it will be a matter of days, if not hours. We are discontinuing his TPN after today, as well as the Tarceva and Avastin, and making a rapid transition to hospice.
This is happening way too fast. I alternate between feeling completely numb and completely out of control. Mostly I just can't fathom the thought of waking up without him here.
Moved 3,000 miles across the country to take care of Dad during his battle with lung cancer. By his side until the day he died. Now trying to pick up the pieces.
About Me
- Teeny Jo
- Mommy to two awesome pooches. Living with the love of my life. In memory of "Dougie" my amazing father: 1950-2007.
My Hero
In those minutes or hours or days that we're able to carry the weight of this disease, that's when life happens. I know that, in the end, my burdens will become too heavy. But I don't see that as a failure. This isn't a contest or a race. We're not being judged against the actions of others. I think there's really only one thing I'm hoping for. When that time comes, I hope I can say, "I did my best." Then I'll know that I won my "fight," that I was able to bear my burdens. That's enough.-Leroy Sievers
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